By Bart Carey, J.D., Cathleen Collinsworth, CDFA®, MAFF®, and Carol Hughes, Ph.D., LMFT
It’s the final meeting in your client’s Collaborative Divorce process. You are looking around the table and see that each client and professional appears ready to proceed. You have thoroughly prepared your client to be able to reach agreement with his spouse. Alas! Within the first half hour of this final meeting you realize that both your client and the other client are tenaciously clinging to their positions! You ask yourself how this could happen?
It’s important for everyone to become Agreement Ready.
Even experienced collaborative divorce practitioners often fail to understand how all professionals on an interdisciplinary team can assist clients, even high-conflict clients, to become Agreement Ready. At CP Cal’s Celebration XIV on Sunday, on April 28, 2019, in San Diego, trainers Bart Carey, Cathleen Collinsworth and … Read More
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years.
It is difficult for children of all ages when their family changes. Occasionally, when the level of conflict has been high, the divorce can come as a relief. More often, though, divorce is experienced by children as extremely stressful, with lots of powerful emotions swirling around in a confusing way.
There are many factors which make divorce stressful for children.
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- Their parents are distracted by their own pain and the difficult decisions they need to make. This means that sometimes kids aren’t getting the attention they need.
- Children always assume that when their parent is feeling strongly it’s because they screwed up in some way. So, in addition to feeling sad, often kids feel vaguely guilty.
- Hearing their parents argue is scary for children, especially
If you think divorce is rough on you (and it most certainly is a difficult experience), imagine coping with divorce when you are a child who lacks the emotional maturity and understanding to grasp what it happening and who is powerless to do anything about it.
Child specialists are an invaluable resource during your divorce. Sadly, child specialists are an unrecognized resource not used as effectively as they could be as part of the Collaborative Divorce process.
Here are four ways you can benefit from working with a trained Child Specialist during your Collaborative Divorce.
1. Your children have a “voice” in the divorce process
Experienced Collaborative professionals agree that children benefit from having their own “voice” in the process. Older children appreciate being able to express their concerns and needs. The Child Specialist is the conduit for the child’s participation in the process. These meetings offer children of any … Read More